My holiday is over. Today I went back to the office after a three week break. But first I did Mysore. I did not feel well. Yesterday it was Sunday, and I ate a lot (at least, these days it is a lot, back in the days I could eat a lot more without problems): I had a large focaccia for lunch, and a pizza for dinner. It was too much and too greasy I guess. In the evening my stomach protested. I did a Yin practice, but it helped nothing. Yeah, it helped my hips release a lot of tension, but it did not release the food. By the time I went to bed, I still had the feeling of a (rather painfully) full stomach.
When I woke up in the middle of the night my thoughts were about the practice in the morning. Ah, I thought, my stomach is okay, I can go to class. But when the alarm woke me and I got up, I still felt a bit nauseous. Still, I went to the class. But I worried. I worried because I didn't feel well. I worried about getting sick (I saw myself vomiting on my mat; not the best image I can tell you), I worried I could not do my practice this morning. But in stead of quitting, I calmed myself and told myself I would do what I was capable of, and if I was to be sick, than I would just stop. Simple as that.
I breathed, took it slow, burped a few times, moaned a bit, and then I was fine. The moment I realized I felt okay again, I told myself to remember this for my real life. Because I know I can dramatize things when I don't feel so good. This experience showed me that not feeling well doesn't have to mean I have to stay in bed all day. I am not sick very often, but if I am sick, I don't want to be at work, or in public, or surrounded by people. I want to be alone and focus on how I feel. But the practice showed me that I can feel a lot better in a short amount of time. Even if I am surrounded by people.