Bad Mood

I didn't practice on Wednesday and Thursday, so I did practice today even though Saturday is supposed to be a day of rest. I started around 7.30, after getting up at 7 with a bit of a bad mood. I felt tired, I'd dreamed that people were mad at me and I regretted that I'd taken a late night snack yesterday.

In the cabin we have a television (at home we do have not) and I love it but hate it more. I hate it because when I watched the news and I felt like watching a kids program; everything was repeated too many times. Then my BF watched a sport program and it was annoying because every ten minutes there was a commercial break. Not cool. In stead of sitting there with him and watching stupid commercials, I sat outside and read a book.

Later I watched a documentary (luckily without commercial breaks) by Louis Theroux, a very old one but I still enjoyed it. It was about female body builders. Women with muscles. And about men who adore these women. Louis was visibly not attracted to the strong women, but the men who he interviewed were so.
One said: 'My wife does not want to be a woman who sits in front of the tv all the time, and does nothing but eat.' I laughed because I thought this woman has wise common sense and I saw myself, hanging on the couch in front of the tv, eating potato chips.

Before I started my practice, I thought how I probably didn't want to do this pose and that pose, and I noticed my negative thoughts. I saw how I do this in real life to, how if I have to do something, but I think I don't want to, that I am not in the mood for it. Suddenly I saw how I could shift this into: why don't I be curious about it, in stead of thinking that I don't want to do it, because I probably cannot do it, or that I am bad at it, or not as good as I would like me to be. Eye opening moment.

After practice, my bad mood was gone and I felt satisfied and happy. I went out to get breakfast, a healthy one.

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