The message was clear, my body had talked to me. For once, I decided to listen to it, like REALLY. For a stubborn person like myself, that is not the easiest thing to do. I stayed home for two mornings, slept like a newborn baby, napped during the day, read an easy book (normally I like hardcore literature) and I practiced a bit of Yin. The room and the curtains smelled like incense, I digged up some old candles, I played music (only ten minutes of gangster before I returned to Petros & Friends) and I ate fresh & healthy & home made (spinach, bulgur, banana bread, lentil soup).
Tuesday evening my BF asked if I was staying home from my Mysore practice on Wednesday too.
'No, I am going.'
'Are you sure? You were not feeling well yesterday and today.'
'I am better now. And I am going for a new approach.'
'Good luck with that,' he answered.
So. The new approach. It was like the whole universe was on my side. Oh no, not the whole universe since it stormed and rained this morning. I had to put on my raincoat and rain pants to prevent me from arriving soaking wet at the studio. But when I took of my wet things and entered the shala, it felt like arriving in heaven. The teacher had closed the curtains, he had lit candles, it was not at all crowded, and next to me were two people who were both older than me (I don't know why but elder people automatically look more soft to me).
'Take it slow. Breath. Slowly. Count. Concentrate. Soft,' I yelled at myself. Kidding. I took some time to get started and when I did, my movements were slow but strong. I made sure I heard my breath and that the in- and exhales were equally long and steady and strong and soft. I realized how often I'd rushed through my asanas. And through life. Again, I asked myself: WHY girl, WHY?
I had the feeling it took me forever to do the Sun Salutations, but it was no problem. On the contrary, it felt great. I thought: 'This is it, I am doing it. The soft way. Easing in to it. The teacher himself was also not demanding today. Like he felt what I needed. He helped me gently and it felt really nice leaning in to him while breathing in Marichyasana D.
When I lay in Savasana, a new man next to me began his practice. I listened to his loud and heavy breathing. Sometimes he moaned. Already after a few Sun Salutations, the teacher approached him and said: 'Try to breath evenly and take it slow. Put some softness in it.'
I knew it and the teacher knew it. This was the day to be soft.