The new year has started! I spent new year's eve with family, vegan food, fireworks and champagne at my brother's place. I stayed over at my parents' house where I slept in my mother's pj's in my brothers old bed. The second day of the new year I started my new job.
Out with the old, in with the new. I gave away my old 'corporate' clothes, shoes and bags. My mother gave me some new comfy joggers and sweatshirts as a late Christmas present. These clothes are suitable for my new job at the yoga studio. And I would like to leave my old stressed out and hasty habits and start the new year and this new job with a fresh and relaxed approach. Would like.
After the first week, my friend M. asked me how I liked my new job. She waited for me to answer with an excited look on her face. Like I was going to tell her some fantastic and adventurous stories. I started telling her how I didn't knew anything at my new job and how I had to learn everything from scratch. How that all bothered me. How I felt stupid, useless and time consuming for my colleague.
'I even had to ask how the phone works. I feel like an intern.'
'You're such a perfectionist,' M. said. 'Stop that. Don't be so insecure. You are clever, you know that. Stop worrying and give yourself time to figure out this new job. This was your first week. Give yourself at least a few months to settle in.'
I know she is right. I have to be sweet and soft to myself and give myself every minute that is needed to learn what I have to learn for this new job. But the idea of having to feel the way I do for some more weeks or even months is not something to look forward to.
This morning during Led Class, I noticed myself worrying again. I started thinking about my work tasks and to do list for the upcoming week. When I realized I was worrying about my job during a Sunday yoga class, I stopped myself. I decided not to stress about it any more.
It is a Sunday. I am not at work. I am doing yoga. Focus on your breathing, on the teacher's counting. This helped. I took it a step further:
1. I am no longer going to stress about it;
2. I am going to do the opposite: I am going to enjoy it.
From tomorrow on, I am going to enjoy my new job. Who cares if I cannot do the things I have to do immediately? In some time I will master the skills and everything will be cool and at some point maybe dull, so I better enjoy this journey of new things and figuring stuff out. I wanted this job and now it is up to me to enjoy it as much as possible.