When you are dancing in the street and walking this yoga path, you will get problems with other peoples problems. At least, I know I do.
Friend A. suffered from panic attacks. She was going on a holiday to Spain for a week and she agreed to share a suitcase with her travel friend, but how in a million years would this be possible? Only half a suitcase! She wanted to travel with her shoes, clothes, books, iPad, beauty stuff, camera, and more clothes and shoes. It really made her upset. I listened to her and nodded when necessary and swallowed my WHY AREN'T YOU JUST HAPPY YOU CAN GO ON A HOLIDAY? and my WHO NEEDS MORE THAN FLIP FLOPS AND A BIKINI ON A BEACH TRIP?
I got a call from friend B. She too was upset. She was worrying for days. She could not make a serious decision and she wanted my help.
'Should I get an iPhone 7 or an iPhone 7S? Or just go for the top notch and buy the iPhone X?
What would YOU do?' She asked me and let out a huge breath.
I thought about it for a while. I noticed the question bothered me. I didn't want to think about this kind of crap. I told her I would not get any iPhone at all. That Apple has become the most uncool business ever. (Of course, I have an iPhone and I use it every day, all day.)
I am transforming into a yogi who doesn't want to deal with crappy problems. But why not? These are my friends and they ask for my help. And why do I refer to them as crappy problems? Only some time ago I would freak out myself when going on a holiday and having to decide which clothes to take. Or that I Mos Def wanted the latest iPhone. And at the moment I am still struggling when it comes to buying things and spending money.
In the morning at 6 when I am at the shala doing my practice, everything is fine. I feel great and peaceful and loving and thankful and everything is cool and there is nothing more I need. But afterwards, outside, in the real world, I can feel the temptations. I feel the urge to spend money. Not all my money and not huge amounts, but still. I. Want. To. Buy. Things. I think it has to do with boredom. Thinking about things I can buy keeps me busy in my mind.
Shall I buy new yoga pants? Moisturizer? A book, a magazine? Some kitchen tools? Pajamas?
I trick myself in saying that I only buy things that are good for me and which I need. But it is not true. I don't need more yoga pants. I can cook like a king with all the stuff I already have. Maybe it is the time of the year, with Christmas coming and all the shops showing what they have and people buying presents and Black Friday and Sinterklaas. Or maybe not. That it is this gaping void inside of me that needs to be filled.