My yoga friend E. had somewhat predicted it.
'Isn't your body protesting against you practicing so much so soon?' He'd asked.
'No, man,' I'd said as cool as always. 'We can handle it.' By 'we' I meant my body and me.
But then Sunday afternoon came. The morning before I'd taken the most heavy led class of all times. Heavy because I am a bit afraid of teacher N. and I therefor wanted to impress him, obviously. I had sweated big time and had rested very little, because I was not sure if I was meant to take a rest in his shala where his teaching continued and other students were still practicing (I only practice half primary and it was a full primary class).
Sunday afternoon, my head and my body said: 'Hey, we are tired!' and 'Hey, you think we are hungry, but in fact, we are not.' I did not listen to my body and I stuffed it with food and I felt nauseous. I felt tired but I still went to the library and typed a piece on my laptop.
Monday morning, the alarm woke me at 5.30 AM. I got up and went to the bathroom. I looked at my pale, white face. I tried to smile. I felt dizzy and not well. I sat down on the cold floor and felt cold sweat on my body. This was not okay. It was like I had a huge hangover, the most awful one since Christmas 2012 (don't ask), feeling sick and dizzy and weak and if my head was about to explode. I crawled back in to bed. My BF asked what was wrong with me. I let him feel my sweat. He turned to his other side and fell back asleep.
Today is Tuesday and yesterday and today I did not go to the shala. I stayed at home, rested, read a book and watched Nurse Jackie. And thought a lot about what had happened. Why I felt like I did. Maybe it was just a small virus, a little flu (No, it is not, I know what it feels like having the real flu, this is not it). But what is more likely is that I am struggling with my addictive nature. And the subject of my addiction is now Ashtanga. And although it is now Tuesday and I feel a lot better than I did on Sunday afternoon, I think I was drained out because of me taking too much effort into my practice in Led Class.
A few weeks ago, I read an interview with an Ashtanga teacher (sorry, can't remember who it was) and he said that if you practice Ashtanga, it is better not to practice any other form of yoga. He said it is better for the practice to stay with Ashtanga. And so I did. And now I remember how much I liked doing Yin Yoga. It takes me to my soft and sweet and gentle side. I don't want to lose Ashtanga, but I have to make sure it is not destroying me (Dramatic? Me?), I have to find some balance. By now I think it is practicing 4-5 times a week in the morning, eating healthy and enough, and taking care of myself with a sweet Yin practice (all complete with incense, candles, soft music and tea) in the evening.