My yoga teacher tells me not to suffer in silence prior to the moment he pulls my arm and wraps it around my knee to let me bind in Marichyasana D. I nod my head and he pulls my arm. Every now and then, my knee hurts, but I never tell him NO or STOP. Other people do. Sometimes I hear people yell STOP! like there's a bus coming towards them. Other people moan out load or say NO three times. They don't suffer in silence.
This week I realized (again) my mother is a champion in suffering in silence. I've never seen her have a sick day where she crawls back to bed because she has the flu or an headache. She do has headaches because I see her rubbing her forehead and then I ask: 'Do you have a headache?'
'Yes, a terrible one.'
'Maybe you should lie down?' I'll ask.
'No, I'll be fine,' she always answers.
This week she and my dad had an argument with my brother. This seldom happens. My brother told me about it. They had some miscommunication and all of them got upset. According to my brother everyone was very emotional and my parents admitted they hadn't slept for two nights. When I asked my mother what happened, she said she didn't want to talk about it and all she said was: 'Yes, we had a misunderstanding, but everything is fine now and let's not talk about it.'
I disagreed and said: 'I am in this family too, I want to know what happened and how you felt and how dad is doing.'
'We decided that the case is closed and that we don't have to discuss it anymore.'
I now know why I don't yell and scream and moan in public, or in yoga class. I suffer in silence, just as my family does. Two days ago, I almost broke my nose, while practicing Bhujapidasana (what about this beautiful picture!). I had to throw myself on one side because I just could not get back up. Despite pulling up my bhandas and trying to breathe properly, I just could not do it. I hurt my nose and fell on one side. Nobody in the room noticed it because I didn't make any noise. I suffer in silence, just as my family does.